3rd year running

Been off work with man flu if there is such an illness .had it for about a week and doctor says just keep taking the fluids and i should be fine it was a woman doctor `am sure a man would have had more sympathy `:). anyway been using the time off work wisely decorating the kitchen could have had someone in to do it but I wanted to do it myself save a bit of money  I know if it was left to Scot he would have had the guy in  anyhow hes already had lots of work from us like new carpets fitted and laminated flooring . been living hear several months now its scots mums house needed a fair bit doing to it as it was a old house but were getting there.

Ben & Mark have turned 15 had a grate Party invited most of there friends and all had a good time Mark got a bit drunk sick everywhere Mum & Martin wernt impressed still I did the same when I was that age more than once Ben helps Martin at the weekends he does loft conversions as long as martian pays him Ben`s happy help .

for the 3rd year I have been doing something started by Jayman (gifts for Larry) and each year you get a few toys or Games together and donate them to somewhere that would be put  to good use I usually ended up spending about 20-30 pounds on the toys and games .anyway this year I have used my brain a bit more `dont do that allot :)' but remember the group I work with well I asked ruth who runs the group If i could do something ask them to help me out Ive been thinking about it for some time asking some of the group to help me  also I wanted to bring  Larry`s story to the Group discussions also Gabe got mentioned It wasnt so bad as i had got to know some of the people who attend they are only young teens 13-17 years old and are gay or bi boys & girls and some have been through a fair bit with there family some were kicked out and homeless Thats were Ruth came in finding them somewhere to stay she`s a social worker so works with kids put in care exc .

one of the group steven 17 now anyway he`s in foster care and I have got quite attached to him only a few years older then me but has had a shit life always struggled  anyway we helped him get into collage. sorted out a cv for him and after a few knock backs got himself 

a job at a local supermarket evenings and some weekends  the money`s helping him with collage and people are trusting him again  weve helped others to with various problems 

anyway they are all getting a Toy or a game and they are going to a local charity.

Also I have decided to do something else something I really could have done before When I was 13 Mum had a breast  cancer scare she was fine in the end but I didnt deal with the whole thing that well .so I wanted to do something manchester has a children s hospital and 

a department for treating cancer I wanted to do something to put something else back  so last week I attended an auction  for children in need  with my mum and decided to join in with the biding its something mum enjoys buying something at knocked down price usually liquidation stock anyhow I did a bit of bidding for charity and got some stuff am giving to the cancer unit stuff like video games cd`s books worth several hundred  but I didnt pay that .

my dads well driving more good to see him with a smile on his face doing something he loves  long distances arnt good for him now  he needs another driver usually sharon his wife love her to bits 

Scot now works for emergency services like on the switchboards says it can be stressful at times but arnt all jobs at some point .  

David Byrne - This Must Be The Place Live Jools Holland 2004 - YouTube

I know another long period without a post keeping busy moved in with scot feels right this time  but he`s trying to hard he needs to realise I want  us to be together and that i love him as he is .

David Byrne - This Must Be The Place Live Jools Holland 2004 - YouTube:

'via Blog this
just love this song to bits  David Byrne rocks .

post is a bit short i know but another will follow very soon .

Thrilled & chilled

This summer has had its up`s and downs  one that I will remember for various reasons  one of them being the Manchester pride event last month Scot & me were offered a market stall at this years event selling merchandise  T-shirts, wrist bands, jewellery,programs all provided buy various Gay charities and local business as well as Scot&me having T-shirts and wrist bands that 
we designed ourselves with allot of help from friends of ours like Trish who printed the shirts for us .over the weekend of events I helped with fundraising walking round bar`s talking to the punters with your best smile  it was genuine smile most of the time  and just asking for a donation 
of money to put in my bucket we more or less stuck together in case people got abusive or over friendly did get a grope of some but that`s expected sometimes after a few hours of this someone took over so we could have a few beers I was a little merry by the end of the night .The stall on the next day went brilliant all our T shits sold out quickly we only made 50 all of different sizes as well as the one`s we we given to sell and by the end we only had a few things left  we counted up how much we took and came to a grand total of £742 not bad going  I will admit we wanted to win who took the most money contest but that was over a thousand ££ needed a bigger stall basically but 
all together the markets raised well over 30 thousand pounds and the whole event over the 10 days of various events over a million was raised and we are bloody proud to be part of that .

This has meant so much    To me its not just about raising money it`s also about raising awareness of who you are  and providing support and information to others .



DJ SAMMY - HEAVEN [OFFICIAL MUSIC] - YouTube:


'via Blog this'
This song  gets me dancing when am happy or drunk thay usually go together

I wont bore the TITS of you

it has been a while I know have a fair bit to mention  will be easier if I did several so I dont bore you.
DAD.
he`s better after his heart scare several months ago but it has taken its toll in several ways like he`s unable to drive for long periods because of the medication he is under guess that's understandable  he loved driving that was his job driving across the country doing deliveries of building materials but was made redundant in January  he has now decided to take early retirement .he`s been sensible with money took out several pensions years ago     he also decided to move home used to live in a large house but put that up for sale  and renting a bungalow so no more stairs to get up  all on one level  also the bungalow has a huge garden something dad has always wanted  and a shed  keeps him out the way also grandson Joshua keeps him busy 18 months old so bit of a handful  Sharon his wife has been fantastic with everything that has happened with dad she really has been his rock and still manages to hold down he job as a doctors receptionist   though she has reduced her hours so she can be with dad  more  wish people would give me this sort of commitment  when am older .
Been to a few Football matches going to see Sheffield Wednesday I must be dreaming hear because at the moment were doing really really well  
             


Frank Wilson - Do I Love You (Indeed I Do) - YouTube:


'via Blog this'
When dad was growing up he was a Mod into bands like The Who .Kinks anyway lot`s of mods also used to be into soul music more Atlantic soul  also known as northern soul he used to go to Discos in the early 70`s
went to all-night  discos  in Wigan or Blackpool anyway dads been reflecting on the times he was up all night dancing  some of the happiest times he was going out with mum at the time   this is one of  his favourite tunes .
dad has always kept stuff like photos   if his sister didn't get to them first that is  she was a bugger for pitching photos and people not seeing them for donkeys years she past away last year .

so that's Dad at the moment just plodding along   well post again in the next day or so  .  

How Gay Sex Changed the World UK DOCUMENTARY | Man Hub ™

I was shown this by a guy called Darren or Daz as he prefers to be called he`s 15 thinks he knows it all
he`s attends the support group that i help out at .it was made a few years back watched it a few times now  if I had seen something like this in my teens like 15-17 it would have helped me understand things better .
it shows how peoples attitudes towards being gay has changed   its taken 45 years to be accepted as an equal  i doubt everyone will . I have only met Darren a couple of times he thinks he `s street wise  but he`s  not.
How Gay Sex Changed the World UK DOCUMENTARY | Man Hub ™:

'via Blog this'

I guess am still living in the dark age`s

didnt do the leather things much had a pair of trousers  just made me sweat people may regard it as sexy but alass its not for me .

poppers   i admit have given them a go  again not for me  last time i was spewing up for hours not sexy is it
                                              LEE x

SO MUCH HAPPENING .

Sorry its taken a while to post anything but there are reasons .
DAD
my dad`s not well he was taken ill with heart problems he had a bit of a scare last year and the doctors told him he had a heart murmur and he needed to reduce fatty food . he also cut down on his work at a builders
yard as well as a driver delivering building materials bricks ,wood, exc anyway this year got laid off   knew it was going to happen and when it did he took it bad causing him quite allot of stress  because having no work he got board and stuff  he did have money put by  as well as taking out pensions  keeping for a rainy day  and little nest egg when he retires as well as money from work when he got laid off  should have been happy but as i said he gets board  becomes unbearable to live with  .anyway last month things went really bad began going back to his old way  and ended up in hospital  had a mild heart
attack , then another at the hospital  right in front of everyone  me mum his wife  will admit I thought he was gone then  but he made a slow recovery has had a few operations and he made a steady recovery .
he cant drive at the moment I can tell this is killing him as well as people running around doing things for
him he had a birthday last week 56 and if am honest he looked quite depressed guess anyone would after
having the kind of year he has had .
 

Dobie gray- drift away - YouTube:


'via Blog this'
Dad loves this song says it takes him back to being a young un


SCOT
his mum has died while dad was in hospital  this is quite upsetting  scot loved his mum to bits but she had various issues alcohol when she was in her 20s also addiction to painkillers and substances  Scot says she would constantly find faults with him in his teens at 16 he told her he was gay  I could go on forever about his mum  but scot told me she would die  a sad and bitter women.
His dads  cut up about it to at her funeral allot of people came scot says plenty of people tried to help her
out but she pushed them all away which is really sad.
 Work has more or less kept me sane  I did get time off when dad was in hospital which am grateful for
and Scot wants to go away sometime in September.

things are a bit better checking on dad every few days and his wife Sharon has given up work  and looking after him  and Joshua more or less his grandson is there everyday  bad news is Gail brings him
and does fuck all  lol             

CELEBRATIONS

The united kingdom celebrated the Queen s 60th year on the throne over the weekend  4 days of celebrations including street party`s ,parades ,music concert `` I watched this on tv it was total crap `` think quite a few of the uk population took the  4 days celebration as an excuse to have a 4 day piss up
we had usual British weather rain ,cloudy, bit cold .but did it stop people celebrating DID IT BUGGERY!.
Saturday was spent at Ben & marks School the were having a Fun day despite the fact it rained most of the day it Didn't bother anyone  they had various stalls now moved indoors mark had made some cakes
he shot himself in the foot a bit hear as he never ever ever cooks at home so am sure mum`s going to be having words . Ben was dressed up as a beefeater or a guard at the tower of London but he looked so cute in it he`s still with his girlfriend but I think they have moved on to the next level of the relationship .


Later on we went to uncles house some cousins were down for the weekend from Yorkshire I had not seen some of them since I was 11-12 years old one of them was cousin David 5 years older than me
David was a bit of a bully when he was younger always had an attitude  or chip on his shoulder  but regardless of it all  I had a little crush on him my first male crush  so maybe it was a bit more than a little crush  when I was 12 I thought he was the bees knees wanted to be near him at every opportunity
at bedtime he was on my mind a little and it kept me busy !!!!!!!!!!!
anyhow nowadays he`s put on a couple of pounds  used to have a cute tight bum today you could park a bike in it . he`s really let himself go its tragic . he has several kids  by different woman . also met fay were the same age have birthdays close together and when I was younger we got on really well played together ,told each other everything  when I was younger I was really close to telling her about my feelings towards boys but in the end i chicken`ed  out of it .there was several other cousins arriving god
knows where they were going to stop .

on Sunday we were having lunch together at a hotel 15 of us around two tables put together a tight ish squeeze several other relatives came I had met some last year at my aunty's funeral dads big sister  I was terrified of her as a boy 5-6 used to chase after me and give sloppy kisses  ewwwwwwww.

Lisa and Joshua were there Joshua is such a adorable little kid`` nothing like his mum at all  `` David `s face lit up when he capped eyes on Lisa  god knows why  . but it was nice to see everybody even been invited up to theirs am considering visiting some ....

Monday I went to a rugby club BBQ with some cousins as well as Sam&Allan ikkle Simon ``bundle of fun as always ``and eventually Scot I will admit I had had a few beers on Monday with Fay she is training to be a police officer but you would`nt have guessed but we had the chat about I was Gay  took it well I didnt tell her about lusting after David it was a long time ago  But I more or less mentioned everything else including desperately wanting to tell her when I was younger but didnt have the courage to . it was a really good night stuffed myself stupid with hot dogs , burgers , take a bit of work to get all that fat off me . at the end we lit the beacon and fireworks  A good night had by all        

     

went wel

Last night I attended a support group for teenagers who are either gay-bi age`s 14-19  I met Ruth who runs
the group before the meeting  its a group that has 15 members they dont all attend every week usually around 8 a week  and held at a college in the evenings  Ruth has asked me to a information sheet  about myself  forgot to add a photo though .  she has a few volunteer`s who help her out  at the moment I am there for a month and if we are both happy It can be for longer . anyway Ruth just asked me to read the file about who  attends and about their back ground .
one of the group Steven  approached me saying Ruth asked him to me if he could take my photo on his phone to upload a photo I was fine with that .
I hadn't even read about Steven yet  16 gay and lives in sheltered accommodation arranged by his social worker  .
have noticed that some have family problems  as well as personal issues  like self harming ,  abuse , well
being anyway after I had read the file  we had a break and Ruth asked me If some of the group could  Interview me ask me some more questions?  but she did asked me to not go into to much detail  in some aspects  and to respect there ages . which is perfectly understandable ?   I was A little nervous now  I know very little about any of them  am told Its like an introduction to everyone  also so people can gain my trust  !!!!!!

so am sat in front of everyone waiting for something  similar to the Spanish Inquisition  !!!!
I was asked the Usual  Are you out to many of your friends    ``Most of them ``
Do you care if people have a Issue with you being gay        ``Not any more  its their problem not mine ``
 Have you been tested for STD  !!! Ruth Quickly interrupted them  You dont have to answer that Lee
 I did say I didnt mind answering the question    told them I had been tested twice `` three really``  both times I was given all clear .  questions weren't all that bad really  Steven showed me my Photo he had printed out for me  he does come across as pretty street wise lad .Afterwards Ruth told me  I did all right asked if I was happy to sometimes get involved in some social gatherings like bowling  or BBQ`s held at her home once in a while . so Id say it went ok  again its only a few hours a week . 


T shirt designs for Manchester pride are  on-going ``or doing my head in ``whatever you like  its going to cost a bit more than expected  but we will get by  need to order the plain t shirts  in bulk from Ebay
then get designs on a disk or memory stick then take them to a printer who Trish at collage knows  .
we dont need to do all this because we get T shirts  and merchandise  from the organisers  but in the end we want to raise more money .by the way their is a prise for most money raised  but thats got nothing to do with it  :) ;)   .  
                                                 Lee
            
                                                                                                                                  





   

have i bitten off more than i can chew .

hello.

        This week has been good everything  going well Health & safety gave us a glowing report  says we have a  good team set up allot better than last year .

anyway Ive been thinking for the past few months  about doing something else so I looked into support groups I will admit they are gay-lesbian  found several on  THE QUEER YOUTH NETWORK   ``horrible name I know``but via that network I found several that looked interesting so I picked one out made a phone call and arranged to go talk to someone  guy named Russell who organised activities and stuff  who was helpful but the group was on a large scale and took up allot of your time  It was way to much for me  but
Russell again very helpful  asked me to get in touch with a lady called Ruth .we met over a cup of coffee on Thursday Ruth run`s a group for young teens aged 14-19 boys & girls about 15 of them go on a good week and she needs more helpers   to make tea get the room we have ready and  tidy up exc  its only a few hours a week  . Ruth is about 40 ish she started the group  about 18 months ago
to give  the teenagers a platform a  voice  Ruth has seen several of the people that have attended  move on to a bigger platform  join a larger group.
am looking forward to doing this I know am starting as a general dog`s body  Ruth has said I need to be patient  that's fine with me.  Been asked to do like an information sheet like an introduction to myself for the group file. and will  try and make most Wednesday evenings after work .

Also last year I helped at gay pride @ Manchester with fund raising well me & scot have been asked back scot wanted to do like a market stall that sold T shirts , bangles ,badges  they said ok  we already get given allot of merchandise to sell for gay pride t shirts exc but we both want to do are own designs to it would cost us a bit more but if we sell it all more money goes to charities makes it all worth while .
might be able to get help with the designs from Trish at collage  then some blank t shirts from wholesalers who sell them in bulk .god i hope this is worth while .    
                                                                                                   LEE XX            

gone but not forgotten

Hello All

            Had a difficult week at work were due a visit for the health & safety inspectors sometime next week so have spent most of the week organising paperwork making sure everything is up to date  also we have a few new staff started a few weeks ago  so Its my responsibly to make sure they have been given a proper induction and that they are happy .

Sam is a bit stressed having trouble getting a decent child minder for her little boy Simon and the usual one she has  is starting a new job in London more money and all that so Sam has been having different people for the past few weeks none of them are good enough for her  she has already accused one of them of neglecting Simon  Sam is someone you dont want to get on the wrong side of sometimes .

The news of Gabe`s passing upset me a little I will admit I dont deal with this sort of thing well at all
the fact he was just 16 made it worse  but I had a good talk and yes there were tears  I will admit I dont
discuss being gay allot with my mum much  if anything its more with Ben&Mark as of late but I know  that if I wanted to talk she would happily listen .

Collage is fine.    you remember I was saying about Steven who lost his grandmother a month back well
him and his mum have moved into her old house she left the house to his mum the house is much bigger
so more room also his grandmother left him some money so he decided to pay of him and mum depths
so they both owe nothing to anyone  am happy that he feels better

last night I went to the pub with some friends watched the Football  Chelsea won was a good boy no alcohol past my lips .

got to have some dental treatment next week   so I get another day off  am praying the health & safety people come then .
                                                    Lee

its Party time .

hello again .
                well this week has taken forever to end for me what with my work its taken me to Darby of all places never been there before or driven there  so thank you sat-nav we did an induction day training workshop more or less people introducing themselves  some participation exercises  ``didnt go down well ``
you could feel the conflict between some of the people a mile off just waiting for it all to kick off  these people are in the 20-30 years old group need to do some growing up .


managed the gym in the evening  getting used to a cross-trainer like having the confidence to use something   like that and finding your own zone  sounds total crap  but at least I know what am on about .  I know its only a machine  working with but there needs to be an understanding . also am joining there running club so off a cross country ruining thing  haven't done that since PE at school  even in the pissing rain still consider that a form of abuse .

At collage someone  ``Trisha `` is throwing a Britain's got talent Party  its the finale today Saturday  so were brining some booze , food , its not a dressing up thing just an excuse to to get drunk  in front of the TV  Rebecca who i share the house with begged me to take her  as did Scot  had to ask
Trisha she`s having the party  says the more the merrier as long as they bring booze . I have no idea who is going to win  hope it the welsh quire but it could be the girl with the dancing dog  sounds bad  but honestly its quite good  also a guy with a guitar could steal it  I just don't know .

Have decided to post some past experiences will try to do one a week ish  some are light hearted look at my life some are maybe are serious  and one is downright depressing but it has to be done .
                                                                                                                                  Lee x 

             

IN THE FINAL

BEEN KEEPING  AN EYE ON ONLY BOYS ALLOWED  AGES 14-19
Only Boys Aloud - Britains got talent 2012 Semi Final - YouTube


'via Blog this'
THERE IN THE FINAL ALONG WITH A GIRL WITH A DANCING DOG

YA WEDNESDAY .....

Been a good weekend On Saturday I went to the football my team Sheffield Wednesday who have had a grate season and won promotion to the championship league  we finished 2nd uncle had got some tickets for the final game  so me and dad went with him .we needed a win and won 2-0 the other Sheffield side united  are in the play off`s came 3rd in the league so all in all its been a good weekend for the city of Sheffield .  I Will admit I celebrated a lot 

on Saturday night had way to much to drink with Dad& uncle my football shirt is ruined has beer wine  mud I fell over several times once in some sick not mine . woke up next morning on my dads sofa dont remember  settling on the sofa  `Don`t even remember going back to my dads ` my head felt like it was full of cotton wool  didn feel like staying around just went back home peace and quirt  . Scot came round telling me about what he picked up on Free comic day  scot`s comic`s are worth thousands  been collecting

for 15 years and has about 5000  most of them are DC batman superman green lantern his free comic was a new 52   must admit I know little about the comic`s stuff whet I do know i learn form Sheldon cooper .Big Bang theory tv show .and also when am listening to scot .

Its bank holiday Monday not much doing just lazing about .

             

my Saturday`s when It was kicking in ..

When I was in my teens 13 onwards I had a paper round after and before school I only lived in a village that wasn't that big so It didnt take all that long on my bike  still having plenty of time to get home quick shower and change into my uniform  same after school  with out the shower half the time .
Anyway it put a bit of money in my pocket as well as mum did to when she could  so after I had got paid at the weekend usually I would go with my friends to look around shops go bowling  or the cinema
Also around this time  my hormones were starting to kick in big time and being Gay witch I knew I defiantly was at that age   

Anyway I  decided to isolate myself go by myself somewhere  like Matlock a town near to where I lived
Id walk around the shops and markets with my headphones on in a world of my own . I discovered a second hand  market stall that sold books and magazines.

 You remember that I had a paper round well I used to also help unpack the magazines to one of the magazines the shop used to sell was top  shelf ones  like for adults  most were for straight guys  you know tits out and all that but one was guys naked guys .so back at this market stall am finding myself looking older back issues  so am looking who`s watching and I see nobody so I thought to hell with it I picked one with a football magazine on top of it and took to the Woman on the stall she takes them looks at the magazines am going pillow box red and not giving any eye contact at all  I just paid her the money
and that was it I shoved it in my backpack and quickly walked off ok I ran a little  that went on for months had built up a bit of a collection that I hid in my room like a secret stash of them  when I moved
out I took them all with me  or so i thought .
Mark found a bag of them under the wardrobe when he moved in to my old room :o  he swears he didnt  take a peek he just called me & asked what do i do with em ?       
Brit Boys # 23 Magazine Back Issue Brit Boys Amateur:

'via Blog this'
now I know what you might be thinking  I know you might see them as gay w#nk mags  I will give you that  but it also it had helpful information  story`s and it helped me knowing am not alone in this big Gay world of ours  also I used to have one in my bag for work that soon stoped when sam found it and sat and read it at lunch I was  not a happy bunny .

Antony and the Johnsons - Hope There's Someone (Live Jools Holland 2005) - YouTube

This is much better  again its not everyone's cup of tea and yes it is a dark song  but the voice is ahhhhhh.
Antony and the Johnsons - Hope There's Someone (Live Jools Holland 2005) - YouTube:

'via Blog this'

food

So I think today has gone rather well at mums was a full house mum , martin ,Ben,Mark as well as my self and scot   they  haven't seen Scot in a while  think the last time was my 19th birthday and scot didnt say much and didnt stay long mum thought it was a bit rude of him then .But today scot was all nice polite maybe a bit over the top  trying to hard  he got on alight with Ben he has been known to tease Ben a bit but today he just chatted away Mark has never minded him always got on with him . have to admit the roast lamb was was the best meal in a long time  makes you realise what you've been missing  .
 Ben keeps on about a tv show The Voice  Scot made me watch this last night  he likes one of the proformas on the show  I know some of the judges like Tom Jones . and William or will-i am whatever  Ben likes Jessie J  not my kind of music but he will grow out of it am sure .
Scots now gone to his dads has work in the morning  as I do too to be honest I cant wait  been off two weeks and It kills me to say ive missed it ......

this song I admit is not everyone's cup of tea  some people think it a bit weird & depressive have to admit when I first herd it I thought the same but the thing grew on me was in my head for weeks
but his voice is something else .



sorry about the video content guys should have picked a better one better taking it down post a better one

Time alone .

Had a good week  on Tuesday I looked after Simon sam`s little boy  for a couple of hours  more or less got the hang of staying on his feet without falling over  seams to have gone off the teapot song  it used to be constant time and time again  its just one in a while now  likes to play football , hide and seek, managed  to jump on my bad toe still a bit bruised but less painful still simon was warn out after all the running about by the time Sam & Alan had returned he was fast asleep on the sofa .

Having the weekend with Scot we haven't had much time together as of late Scot hadn't felt up to it does get moody sometimes just wanting to be by himself sometimes  but he wanted to come over this weekend so I gave the place a good spring clean with Rebecca one of my house mates she didn't sound to keen it took bribery in the end ``Alcohol`` also bought some new bedding didnt need it really  but they were in a sale.
On friday night we went to the local  pub just me and scot  got a bit merry  then had some fun in the bedroom  made sure the stereo was on a little louder  .

yesterday we did some more shopping wont break the bank am usually good with my money never been a one for splashing the cash  ended up with some jeans and t shirts  Scot used to be really bad with his money ignored bills  couldn`t manage the rent  but he has learned his lesson he  now lives with his dad who has more or less picked up the pieces from stuff that went off last year . last night we stayed in in front of the tv everyone was out doing stuff so we had the place to ourselves been a while since we had time alone .

Today were off to my mum`s Sunday lunch thing its the only meal in the week when everyone is together at the same time it`s almost 10 am scot`s still fast asleep  not for much longer thoe  been awake since 8am  always have been an early  bird      .

 one of my Favorited songs at the moment it`s very laid back        
Elbow - Mirrorball - YouTube:

'via Blog this'

IT was a big book ....

Hiya
        hope you are all well  I`ve  been taking some time off work feel I deserve it so I took a few weeks off
on the first day of the holiday I dropped one of my collage books on my Toe  next to little Toe and it bloody hurt
was a big book so I now have a bloody big bruise still I will live .
Had a weekend away in Blackpool went by myself did ask scot if he wanted to tag along with me but he didnt want to so I went by myself  and I had a nice weekend met a few new people stayed at a hotel in the gay village I was hoping it wouldn't be to over the top with gayness you know pink glitter tight shorts  was glad it was just normal . 
i was a bit shy at first being on my tod/by myself  but I was made to feel more than welcome  the hotel was full
and I must admit I was the youngest by about 30 years the guy at the reception told me that but I was made welcome the food was reasonable well stocked bar that's a must  as I met a few people one was Matthew and his friend nick and they were fine I did make it clear I wasn't looking to cop off and thankfully I didn't honest .
I was happy to join them in the heated swimming pool kept my shorts on but I will admit they were naked also naturist have found out quite allot of gay people are naturist have no problems expressing themselves or letting it all hang out  if you know what I mean  I did feel at home at the hotel and love to go again maybe next time with someone I think .

At collage I have got to know a guy named Steven nothing funny going on but a month or so back his nanny
past away and he was gutted  about it he could have opened his heart to anyone of his friends but  picked me          
god knows why the very thought of loosing any of my family would really upset me  I just listened to him let
him get it off his chest and there was allot  of stuff  including his abusive dad he used to drink allot come home and beat his wife  Steven `s  mum up and it wasn't long before he stood up to his dad  but that just made his dad angrier  that was a few years back his dad just went missing one day not been in touch with him or his mum   I just feel blessed that I had a happier up bringing

Theirs a story going round in the uk it about a guy in his 20s and a few years ago he`d had a stroke before the stroke he was straight had girlfriends one of the lads   after the stroke he`d turned gay   which got me thinking
could a stroke turn someone gay ? could a stroke turn me straight ? seriously doubt it  but I was curious so I looked into it on the net and I doubting the story even more  am thinking he had gay feeling at a younger age like myself  but was in denial then again I may be wrong ............. 
I had a good upbringing like most people had  just the odd few that had a shit one .Steven has been left quite a bit of money of his nan but it don`t bring his nan back she was 83 years old by the way not a bad innings

new photoes

Feeling generous today

thease were took few months ago dont look that bad .

ok some are more daring than others but what the hell.





time for one more oh go on then .

come on you must have  realised ...

All Good Fun....

sorry its been a while again been really busy at work been out most days working with a new bunch of people
who do stuff like talks about food hygiene , team building workshops `did that before loved it, reporting of accidents , most of the workshops are new to me so am just on hand to help people and participate in group activities . keeping me busy although sometimes I feel rushed to do stuff .
Collage is progressing nicely got a few friends there hung out after college a few times been for a few pints with some of them  have told them am gay it was going to happen soon rather than later so I just told them all
seamed to take it ok  they guys have stooped mentioning  shagging birds  a few of the girls have asked  me if i liked any of the guys  I dont  . I participated in a charity footbal  5 a side tournament we came 3rd loosing in the semi`s to the eventual winners who are also at the collage  but it was good fun raised quite a bit of money for sportsrelief  I was asked to do a body wax to raise money  I declined the offer had one last year off Sam
it Bloody Hurt  decided its less painful to just shave .    

Mark`s  asked me if I would help with a School project its about being different  in my case  being Gay in 2012 and needed to interview someone for the School magazine and he wanted me to be honest in the interview I was even discussed the incidents when I was beaten up a few times  when everyone at my school had found out I was gay  that was`nt easy  not in front of your younger brother Mark says he s not sure if hes comfortable taking that further to the magazine  but I told him It happens in life .    Ben is also doing the same but It cant be me so I put him in touch with Tony I did suggest he choose Scot but Ben wasn't keen  he says Scot is to Gay to much in your face  guess he`s right  Tony is more butch be says and like me he was honest .  They did ask me if anything had happened  between Tony and me  I told them were just mates?  someone you trust . they did get printed by the school  I went to a different school to Ben and mark by the way  mum refused to let them go to my old school .

was reading about the us lottery 640 million dollers or 400 million over hear  its far to much money for someone  the most money in the lottery in the uk was 160 million one person won that last year  Again its far to much money surely a percentage would be better going to a worth while cause .

I was reading about a guy in Austria who didnt want to work rather stay on state benefit `s so the day before he was due to take a return to work medical he took sever measures  like cutting off one of his feet and put the foot in the oven.     the guys never going to be in a stable condition ever again?  well not with just one foot is he  ...
  

      

The Real Thing - You'll Never Know What You're Missing (TOTP 02-03-1977)

if you can view this my mum is on this video  2.09 in front of the big camera its a music show in the uk Top of the pops in 19 77 she went with her older brother   who sadly past away a few year back . this show was transmitted on Friday and it made my mums day . she did get into trouble because she had skipped school to go
ended up being grounded she was 15 .
been laughing at the people in the crowed,  the cloths ,the dancing mum says it was the in thing then .

wont use the Q word again

it`s been a bit since I last posted sorry for that  I start my collage training course this week Wednesdays takes up most of the day so no work on Wednesdays for a few months now .
My birthday party was alright very much a family thing Ben & mark came its rare you get both of them together mark came with Anna was the girl that was knocked over by a car last year & me and Ben helped her she`s grown up a bit  Mark insists there just mates . Scot came along for an hour was glad to see him  been a while since him and mum have spoken  I knew there was going to be some trouble when Lisa my step sister turned up pissed as a fart  `an old northern saying ` but within about 20 mins after she came my aunt was threatening to rip her fuc#ing head off  I  kind of asked her to leave soon after witch started off another outburst its usually a dig about being a queer sorry horrible word .

am at college on Wednesdays began two weeks ago was a bit worried ad be a little
out of my dept  with new people but I was fine  bit concerned about the amount of work that`s involved was never that good with revision at school  could never manage to concentrate enough sometimes but at the moment things are fine .

nothing like this at all =(.

gym is going well was worried about getting board easy also I was worried about  the amount of nakedness  about  its not so bad used to go to sauna with Scot now that was allot of nakedness and going on =0.  all am saying .

mark has given up tracing his family uncles aunts  from his mums side  but didnt get far says he could try again when hes older


       

am such a lightweight sometimes

Had a few drinks with Bev the other night `bit more than a few tbh` beer and allot of red wine kind of blows my head off  bit of a lightweight  sometimes  bev drinks like fish just glad we also got some take away to.

Anyway no topic was off limits we discussed anything  & everything  including politic`s this usually boars the tits of me . we continued onto her past boyfriends  or meany boyfriends as it turned out   as well as how meany men I have been with  ``less than 5`` we carried on to the perfect man if there was one  we sort of agreed that David Beckham is maybe the closest your going to get  both agreed we would shag him to death  given the chance .
we discussed odd places you had sex  I admitted to back of a car and fun in the garden am sure that didnt sound to bad well not when your pissed & stoned  anyway.
I dont consider myself an easy person to shock  but some of bevs places are crazy places like on the back seat of a bus,  park bench ,  I couldn't not so public anyway

going to be having a little get together next week  as its my birthday and mums booked a room at a local social club  this should be fun

Ikkle Teapot

Sam & Alan`s little boy Simon he was 1 few weeks ago and had a little party  I think he had a grate time Sam dot`s on him although she worries to much about him .
I can understand why Sam is so protective of Simon he had a few problems when he was born . one of his legs is a bit smaller than the other  also  Sam`s worried Simon could be showing signs of being Autistic Sam thinks he`s not responding to
things he should respond to at his age  but its still early . I've posted Simon`s best game for him to show off  he does most of the actions without falling over  apart from the tip me up part  not got the balance for that yet  he also likes everyone  to join in   yes even me . I've got to enroll at a local collage need to do a health and safety trainers course . also a food hygiene course , and a study day about whistle blowing   `apparently its got nothing to do with whistling `. its to do with snitching
on people .
had a night out with my mum at the weekend  celebrating her birthday so we went into Manchester she invited some of her friends met some of them before but they dont half get frisky after a few drinks its terrible the language is disgusting most of them have been married years I feel for there husbands .

Have been seeing more of Scot lately he`s at his dads now his dads away allot so its just scot and his dads snotty little wife scot gets on with her  I don't .      

nephews birthday

my step sister sort of  Lisa`s little boy Joshua was 1 this week had a birthday party everyone went from the family except Ben who had made other arrangements mum weren't happy with him but he did get him a present . Joshua is a beautiful kid god knows how
Lisa managed something as cute as him .He does have his mums features  likes lots of attention  can have a strop at the drop of a hat  but he is only 1 .  dad was there he is more or less Joshua`s granddad he calls him granddad or gang-gang  and dont think his biological one has even been in touch since he was born but his grandparents love  him to bits  dad was letting his hair down a bit first time in a while Ive seen him have a drink think he was entitled to every now and again .

josh`s friends were invited lotts of them along with there mum or dads all chavy looking maybe that's just me  and I think most of kids were well behaved sort of  there was a few fights with the kids but hey there young . josh`s gran Jane was running around organizing everything like food drinks Lisa & Carl his mum and dad didn't do much at all just just stood chatting  to people  have known Jane since I was 7 and if am honest she helped me more than others when I came out  that includes mum & dad    easier to talk to sounds bad that but its true also it was her who put me in contact with tony who has been there for me as a mate more than anyone   more so in the past months.

Ben and mark
they are both well  Ben is still with his girlfriend 7 months now and has started to take his football training seriously been in the school team for months  also has been playing for a youth team at weekends also his girlfriend Rebecca or Becky
she`s been scouted by stockport  county girls team she seams to have settled Ben down allot think deep down he`s terrified of her .

mark he`s started hanging round with some older lads also he`s thinking more about
his mum  `she died when he and Ben were two  she was in a car accident ` his mum and dad had separated buy then  but Marks been asking questions like did his mum have any brothers or sisters or grandparents Martin has been honest with him  Ben & Marks mum had Issues with drink and drugs  and  she had fell out with her family
Martin has been as honest as he can helping Mark with anything he wants to know
and mum has encouraged Mark as much as possible  think mum and Martin are a bit worried that it will be to much for him to take in at his age  he`s said to me that he`s only asked questions so he can find out more about them via internet exc I have told him no matter what happens if anything will   we would support him I know his dad  has told him the same  and I know Mark is well aware of it .I know it looks allot to take in for someone but mum says it was bound to happen sometime.

work well it looks like things are going to change a bit  long story short  were teaming up with another company  a training organisation  they do various courses, workshops  about health and safety awareness  first Aid training  stuff you would  be inducted with as a new starter in various local company`s covering various county's Lancashire,derbyshire,   notts. it all looks a bit heavy at the moment  and some collage work is involved but am happy gets me out and about again .
                                                   Lee X

            
   

stood in a puddle .

the past few weeks have been fine wanted to get the new year off to a positive start so
joined another gym usually used one at local leisure center with public swimming pool or bath`s although got to admit am not the strongest of swimmers think I know enough to stop me from drowning or saving someone`s life .
joined a health club run by YMCA  no pool just usual treadmills . rowing machines .
free weights think you have the general idea also cleaner showers not stood in a puddle of piss .I seemed to have neglected my fitness last year and am not what you would call fat never have am more skin and bone  so I decided to tone up.

I share a house with 3 others Darren & Susanne share a room always arguing about something  and Beverley she`s older 31 cant seem to find the perfect man `if there is such a thing`  Darren says she`d shag any man with a pulse even him he`s not a pretty sight  even scrubbed up don't mean to sound bitchy but he`s not .

Bev  is alright get on with her more then the others down to earth couldn't care less
she works in a bank  Darren & Susanne  are at uni taking law   .

I told them all I was gay when i settled in  after a week don`t seem to bother them much and have had a few good nights out with them including one having to carrying Darren home and dropping him dislocating  his shoulder didn't feel it till morning after .

works alright still barring and still intend to try something new this year  not stuck in an office want to try something more public  .

me and Scot are still still together spend a few days a week together  we did split up for a few weeks but got back together again  he now lives with his dad fell behind with the rent of the he rented  was expecting that he`s not good paying bills .

the post will get more frequent for a bit . 

                                                                  Lee

IN MYOWN WORLD

Hello all
            some of you may know me  for my previous blogging  I must admit that I did enjoy it  but for various reasons I stop `ed some of the reasons are a little personal and hopefully are in the past .
2011 was a positive year for me think the main thing that happened is I turned 18 became a man.  "debatable" but its true. Also relationship wise with Scot which is still a learning process maybe I am to young
for serious stuff  but as I mentioned its a learning thing .
Also I went away for the first time that was a  unplanned  thing and it was really nice maybe things work out better like that .

their was a health scare with my dad earlier in the year he`d been told that there was problems with his heart  and that he needed to have a healthier life cut out the booze, fatty foods, and he has managed it sort off .

Ben & mark step brothers are ok they have there problems but there fine .mum&martin are happier  had a bit of a fall out few months back but it looks like things are back on track  .
I now share a house with three people  Tina & Russ who live together  & Kelly still looking for mr wonderful to sweep her off her feet they are all in there 20s  but I get on with them .

have made some resolutions for 2012
work.  I want to try something new I want to be more helpfull
I will get my own place this year houseing association  or council
am going to try and cut out the weed for good .


thats about it for now
                                    Take care
                                                       Lee x